Impressions… First LTC Facility Vsit

Our first interview of a Long Term Care (“LTC”) facility… I admit, I had felt some anxiety about it leading up to the visit — this is a serious potential next step.  All that kept running through my mind is that in 30 years, it could be me — at minimum, it needs to be a place that I would choose for myself.

I have visited family elders in these kinds of places before… but it becomes a whole new experience, unlike all others, when you are considering the prospects of your parent living there.  It was like looking through glasses with different colored lenses.  Bittersweet.

The facility was bright — lots of sunshine everywhere — and very clean and odor-free.  The residents looked and smelled clean, and they did not look situationally unhappy.  The care providers were friendly and courteous.  The grounds were lovely, with beautiful gardens, outdoor seating, and a proper church… it even has a rehab facility on the campus, as well as day programs for seniors.  Quietly nestled in a parcel of wooded land in the suburbs — when you step out of your car, it feels peaceful.

However, there is no way to escape the hospital-like feel of it… or the fear that, to the workers there, your loved one could be nothing more than a number… just another duty of the job.  Are they de-sensitized to human suffering, since they probably see so much of it?  Is his/her conscience on duty while s/he is?  Will my loved one be okay here, if not happy?  Would I ever be able to bring him here and drive away without him?

Would I ever be able to type that sentence without crying?

Alzheimer’s is a cruel disease,  Every day, you watch your loved one and experience his/her death.  For as long as s/he lives.